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The uneven road I've been on has taken me back where I began yet again. My dog had to be put to sleep when I was a little kid and the look of the deepest heartbreak and horror on my mom's face as she crumbled into the back seat of my sister's car holding the life of our friend who had taken ill and now had to be put down, still haunts me to this very day. It's was that same look I had on my face after a failed marriage where my life had come full circle from a kid with a lost soul to an adult with a broken heart. I drove with a few belongings from Georgia back to Texas and knocked on my mom's door and fell apart. I would never fully recover..

Every turn I've taken in my life has felt and looked like a different journey. The people had different names, the scenery along the way I had never seen before and there were laughs and sadness and different outcomes where I would land in places I didn't recognize. Or so it seemed. Now with reflection as my guide, no matter the success or failure, no matter the people who have crossed my path or the turns I made, all roads have taken me right back to where I began and it doesn't feel right.

In the company of the famous and the infamous, on stages and in arenas with thousands and sometimes millions looking on, what in the hell was I doing there, is all I come away with. Presidents, music and movie legends, sports superstars, and me? Having tricked people into thinking I knew what I was doing 20 years ago in television and photography until I actually learned, I carry a certain level of guilt knowing the work and sacrifice others made and are making to get here while I just kicked the doors down and went in..    

I never felt much like I've ever known where I was going and here I am now after all the miles I've racked up feeling like I haven't accomplished what I feel is important. Like a carnival bumper car ride where you go here and there and get turned around a lot but eventually you just end up back where you started. The ride has a time limit and needs to be worth the price you pay because the memories might be all you get to take with you and you can never rewind the tape- Now what.